Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
You can't sleep because you hate your job
Your phone, computer and car all breakdown at the same time
Hold on, hold on
Keep your hand on that plow, hold on
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Now Madonna's motives are undeniably dubious. Is this
Actor Sacha Baron Cohen pokes fun at this celebrity craze in his movie, "Bruno", where his character is shown taking a Black baby out of a box, as if the little one arrived like a literal mail-order-bride. He definitely took it a bit far, but the point is made. The seemingly increased White celebrity interest in Black children, particularly from foreign countries has been viewed as suspect.
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Now granted, clearly the kind of woman who would waste herself on this lost soul isn't all there upstairs. Crazy attracts crazy, but really? It is safe to say that Mike Tyson will always be insane. And apparently there is a crazy lid for every crazy pot, but hopefully if just one desperate woman catches a glimpse of this nonsense and wakes up and decides she doesn't have to settle for a demented ex-con, then there is in fact a silver lining around this crazy cloud.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
That's right, I said it! A lot of Black people suck at networking. Why? Well here are some thoughts:
Black people can be very cliquish:
I can't tell you how many times I've walked into a room full of Black folks and see most of us grouped off into our little corners and wonder how I'm going to break the Black ice. In search of the friendliest corner, after getting some courage in glass from the bar, I subsequently find myself and possibly a few other brave brown souls initiating conversation and extending myself to strangers. Now, usually it's well received but sometimes I'm blown off for someone, something cooler? I'm not cool? What! (And if you're female, most of the blow-offs come from other women--um hmmm... you know I'm right. We'll cover that later.)
Solution: Don't wait for someone to come to you. Reach out and go outside your comfort zone. Talk to someone you don't know, appear to have nothing in common with, didn't pledge the same fraternity/sorority you did, doesn't look like you, dress like you, act like you, smell like you--whatever. Get over it and connect! Don't keep yourself from potentially interesting, kind, fun and brilliant people--uh who might be willing to help you make that next move.
Black people need to be better at follow-up/organization:
Again, don't know how many times I've followed up with a Black person I've met and exchanged cards with only to have one of several scenarios play out:
- When I call, my new contact suddenly has a case of memory lapse and vaguely remembers meeting me but doesn't have time to talk and has to call me back--and I'm left sitting there ripping up the business card as I simultaneously admit to myself that I've been blown off.
- I email my new contact expecting a response that never comes. And to add ass-kick to insult I run into this person at another event and the person mentions receiving my email.
- Or, what I love is when my contact emails me back several weeks later but doesn't address any of the issues we discussed or the reason I reached out in the first place.
Solution: Set aside some time within the next 48 hours of meeting someone to send a brief email to your new contact. Follow-up is critical in terms of being taken seriously. Also, add sincerity to your networking efforts. Don't approach it with the attitude of "What can I get from this person?". If you really don't want to be bothered with someone after speaking with them, politely make your exit and don't offer your information. And don't promise to get in touch if you get someone else's. Just take the card and say "Thank you", and exit stage right! But if you do take the card and promise to get back to the person, do that--in a timely matter and provide any information you promised. Duuuhhh!
Black people can be too competitive:
Unfortunately many of us have bought into the divide and conquer mentality that keeps us from being sincerely moved to be helpful or just plain friendly to each other. It also keeps us from believing the truth that, what's yours is yours and nobody can take it from you, whether it be an opportunity, a job, or a hook-up. Clinging to this selfish behavior keeps us from growing and getting.
Solution: Let that nonsense go. Competition is a false reality.
Black people need to be willing to go outside their comfort zone:
(Sigh), again, can't remember how many times I've heard a Black person who was invited to an event or out with people from work and the first question that's asked is, "Well who else is going?" Too many Black people waste too much time worrying about who else is going to be there who we know or are familiar with.
Solution: Who cares?!!!! Go! Have fun--and uh, get that inside information- get to know someone new-or get to know someone you know in a different way. Many times people at work are different when you're chilling with them sipping on Margaritas. That woman/man you think you can't stand might be a barrel of laughs once you remove them from the office. Don't hinder your own opportunities by feeling as if you have to be in a familiar environment to have a good time and potentially do some business.
Black people need to work their network-BEFORE they need something:
How many times have you gotten a call/email from someone you met months/years ago from someone who just wants to say hey, and then follows it by asking for something? How does that make you feel? Well it's never cute to be on the other end of that either.
Solution: Every so often, not to be a pest, but send a sincere email or make a genuine phone call just to say what's up and/or to update your contacts on what you're doing now. Then when you're in a position when you have to ask for help, you have an arsenal of people who feel motivated to be helpful vs. used.
Black people (women) can be too petty/snobbish (i.e. insecure):
I went to a very interesting think-tank recently and introduced myself to one of the only other brown faces there. She was the kind of woman another woman could have been intimidated by--light skin-ded, attractive, stylish--my first thought, model. And when I introduced myself to her, I asked what brought her to the event and in her response she revealed that she does in fact model. Now, not knowing this young lady, maybe she is naturally reserved, but she sure came across with some, how shall I say, aloofness? One of the other (few) brown people there who also attempted to connect with this young woman remarked that maybe we were too Black for her. Maybe. Maybe not, but we were all trying to be friendly and girlfriend didn't seem to be in the mood. Okay, cool. Now this is just one example of what I'm talking about but there are many, many other situations where Black people, more so women are not connecting because: her hair is longer--her "Loubous" are real--her bag is fake--she's lighter/darker than me--blah, blah, blah--unfortunately the list goes on. Now, this applies to the brothers too, but they tend to have less of these types of issues.
Solution: Get over that bull----! Now, not tomorrow, no baby steps. Be over it. Black people are intrinsically warm and open souls. So let's be who we are without fear and insecurity.
Okay, that's my truth. What's yours? If this doesn't apply to you, great! If it does, (and be honest with yourself), make some changes. You are only hurting yourself.
How do you feel about the way Black people network?